Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can. -Paulo Coelho-
Valentine’s Day is almost here! When the day arrives, perhaps you’ll be delighted because all of your expectations have been met; but having expectations is always tricky business. Maybe you’re reading this and telling yourself that Valentine’s Day is just another day in your life and you have no expectations.
Regardless of your situation and your relationships, why not be your own valentine?
Have you ever noticed how many people don’t think they’re good enough? Women are especially talented at this type of thinking. For some reason, many of us think that we must have a perfect body, we can’t make mistakes, and what we have to say isn’t worth sharing.
I challenge you to take one day, Valentine’s Day, to love yourself for all of your “perfect imperfections.” Here are some suggestions on how to create a special "Be Your Own Valentine's Day":
Appreciate your body. You already know what’s wrong with your body, but what’s right about it? What do you like about your body? I’m not just talking about the way it looks (although that’s a great place to start), but also how it performs. Maybe you work out every day and you push your body to the limit. Take time to acknowledge that you are lucky enough to have a body that can do this. Regardless of whether you are physically fit, thank your body for all of the magnificent things it’s been doing all of these years, for example, your heart for beating and your lungs for breathing. Take a day to be nice to it. What does it need that you’ve been ignoring? Can you take some extra time today for that bubble bath or yoga? Something as simple as massaging your own feet with body cream can be a wonderful treat.
Give yourself a compliment. If you’re like me, you start contradicting someone when they say something nice to you. Don't do that. What do you need to hear today that isn’t being said and why can’t you say it yourself? Acknowledge your strengths and what you’re good at. What do you like about yourself? Is there something you want to thank yourself for? Are you proud of a recent accomplishment?
Eat what you want and don’t feel guilty. Most of us don’t have trouble with the first part of that last sentence; it’s the next part that’s hard. For one day, pick foods that you like, eat them mindfully and enjoy the experience without guilt.
Forgive yourself. Are you still feeling angry or ashamed or regretful about something that happened yesterday, last year or ten years ago? Make this the day that you let it go. Wash it down the drain when you take a shower. Visualize it happening.
Give yourself a present. Instead of depending upon someone else to give you chocolate, jewelry or flowers, buy it for yourself. Pretend it is a gift for your best friend (this is a hint that maybe you should be your best friend).
Gratitude. Take a moment to be grateful for all that is good in your life; especially your loved ones. Even if you haven’t been able to see them because of the pandemic, there are other ways to connect.
Be a role model. Do you want your daughter, granddaughter or niece (or the little boys in your life) to grow up feeling as if they aren’t good enough unless they are perfect? Demonstrate the importance of self love.
Spread the love. Now that you’re feeling great about yourself, send that positive vibe to others who need it!
After Valentine’s Day is over, check in with yourself to see how it went. If you were successful and it felt good, remember that you can do any of these things any time. What if it didn’t go so well? There’s always tomorrow!
Need help with self-esteem and confidence? Life coaching can help and it’s virtual, so you can do it from the comfort of your home. Contact me.
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